Can I Be Honest? I’m Evolving and Me Time is a part of that process..

I recently wrote on my realization that I am not SuperWoman (see post I Am NOT Superwoman…) and the acceptance that it is perfectly fine that I will never carry that title.  In the post, I lamented the loss of musicals, plays, book stores, and times of complete solitude.  I noted, and feel the need to restate, that I don’t wish away my life.  I love being a wife and mother.  Those roles are key parts of who I am.  They are me.  I like that person and all the love and joy that comes with her.  But, before I was WinterMommy (mommy and wife), I was Winter.  I had definite interests that I enjoyed, nurtured, and cultivated.  Somewhere along the line, I realized that embracing new interests and roles had pushed away some of the really cool parts of Winter.  Somewhere along the line, I stopped enjoying and partaking in me time.

So, today, I took steps to rectify that issue in a rather unplanned source of me time rebellion.  I’d just completed the end of a very long albeit productive work week.  I was turning out of the office parking lot when I remembered how I really wanted to continue reading the e-book that I’d downloaded to my tablet.  It’s a great read based on the events occurring after the Rapture and I was not having any luck in getting through it.  Every time I’d tried in recent weeks, I was interrupted by the demands of home, community, shoot…life.

Today as I was driving, I decided on a whim that I was going to take just a bit of time for me.  So, I pulled into a local eating establishment, walked in, sat in a booth, and ordered a margarita and an order of cheesesticks.  I sat down with tablet in hand and enjoyed ME.

Honey, it was amazing…..

Perfect Margarita with a perfectly brown mozzarella stick package

I sat in that booth, read my book, looked out the window, and enjoyed ME.  I gasped aloud at the unexpected plot changes in the e-novel.  I sipped slowly on my beverage, enjoyed my cheesesticks that belonged to me all by myself, and enjoyed myself.  No little hands reaching for a sample.  No disapproving click of tongue because I decided to have a beverage instead of ordering an ice water as I do 99% of the time.  No, it was just me, myself, and I.  I loved it.

You know what else I loved? I loved that I was comfortable in my solitude.  Seriously!  Can I be honest?  I have not always been comfortable in my skin.  When I first moved to the area as a young 20-something I would get off work on the weekends and would go straight to my cousin’s home with whom I was staying.  I would get out the car, shower, and then go to my room and do absolutely nothing.  It wasn’t because I didn’t want to or because my cousin, who was an elder cousin, would have forbidden it.  I was new to area.  I didn’t know anyone and I was too shy and uncomfortable to sit somewhere by myself.  Oh, I tried plenty of times, but it didn’t work. I would carry my little self into a crowded room, sit in a booth, feel awkward, and about ten minutes later, I’d leave.  My goodness.

When I moved into my own apartment several months after arriving to the area, I thought to myself how easier it would be to go out, to host little get togethers, to be the social butterfly I’d always envisioned myself to be.  But, even into my late 20s, I would be terribly uncomfortable at a restaurant or event by myself.  I felt like people were staring, wondering why I was there, and what I was doing.  I would see women together in groups and would feel sad that I didn’t have that option myself.

I am so glad to say I have evolved into a person who loves herself and counts her moments of solitude as a luxury.  I much, much, much more prefer the interactions of my family, but when I need to just sit and think or read a good book, I’m glad to say I can love spending time with me by me 🙂  I LOVE me time.

Today, I enjoyed my me time for about 40 minutes.  Just enough time to nurse my beverage, enjoy my appetizers, and get a couple of chapters in my book.  I didn’t need hours and hours.  I just needed some uninterrupted stress free time.  After I finished, I paid my tab, tipped, wished my server a good evening, and proceeded to my car.  I felt light, happy, and delightfully free.  And guess what?!

When I got home, I was STILL super excited to see my children and love on my spouse.  My me time didn’t diminish my love for my family at all.  Now, please don’t think me time is limited to spending money.  It isn’t at all.

Photo credit: seattleite.com

In the past, I’ve had me time in a huge sunken tub with bubbles, rose petals, candles (tea lights with batteries so I didn’t have to clean up wax spills), music in the background, and sparking cider to keep me company. Those had me for 2 and 3 hours and wrinkled as a raisin when I came out.  But, I love it all the same.

Now, it’s back to business as usual.  Tomorrow morning, there will be waffles, bacon,  scrambled eggs, and yogurt for breakfast.  I’m planning on taking the children out for fun at the Children’s Museum followed by a bit of bowling, and finally a stop at the library.  Tomorrow night, I’ll try some of the recipes that have been listed in my pinterest box.

But for right now, I am enjoying the results of my me time and look forward to having that time again in a few weeks or so.

Have a great evening.
-WinterMommy