It’s been a while since I’ve written. I can’t say it’s because a lack of things going on. There is always something going on in our household. Actually, my lack of writing has been a combination of things. I’ve been busy at the office. I’ve been busy at home. I’ve been busy building another business. [And] I’ve been fighting through some really honest and open places in my mind. I haven’t been in a place where I wanted to share. If I was in that place, I found the words wouldn’t come. Plus, not too many people are clamoring for my thoughts, so I’ve been comfortable with keeping them to myself. That being said, here I am ready to dump my streams (trickles of information) and waterfalls (a lot of information) for you to consume.
So, where shall we start? Let’s start with my Honeybee.
Honeybee. She turned 8 months recently. It’s amazing how quickly she hit that mark. With that mark comes increased mobility as she all but has the hang of the crawling thing. She has this lopsided crawl going on right now, but it doesn’t stop her from getting where she wants to get. She’s tiny still. Her 3 month old clothes fit her just fine, but she can comfortable fit some cuts of her six month old clothes as well. She’s recently learned the word “hi”, but is confused to what it means. When someone says “hi” to her, she jumps (literally) jumps from your arms to that person. She did this in rapid succession for about 7 minutes last night jumping from me to Nana to SuperBug every time someone would say “hi”. She did the same thing this morning and the spectacle is quite comical, but we are still trying to teach her that it is a greeting and not a request. In the meantime, it’s her new favorite game.She’s eating a lot now. You know those Gerber containers? She eats two of the smaller ones or one larger one and two smaller ones in one sitting. Then she wants a few ounces of her bottle to wash it down. No, we aren’t over feeding her. She actually yells if she is still hungry and then turns her head when she is no longer interested. Her personality is quite strong and very independent. I love learning her moods and the person she will one day be.
SuperBug. SuperBug is doing well. Picture Day was this week. I was looking forward to a nice Fall picture of him in a Fall sweater and colors. It was not to be as the temperature was a balmy 79 degrees. That was very surprising. He ended up in a long sleeve shirt with a short sleeve underneath (the trend). He then took the long sleeve off some point in the day. I myself went to work and was surprised to see people in linen summer suits and short sleeves. The office actually had the air conditioner blasting. Yep, the air conditioner. I ended up working a bit late and then left work to get some errands done. When I got home, Superbug greeted me with his usual hug and enthusiasm. I asked if he’d gotten a chance to go outside and play in the warm weather. I was disappointed that he had not. FatherWinter and I have an agreement with SuperBug that he may not go outside and play until and unless he has completed his chores and his homework. Some nights he does it in minutes (it should not take more than 20) and some nights he does it in hours. We were worried at one time that it was because he was having trouble understanding the work. During a parent teacher conference we found this was not the case. He simply gets distracted. So, we are actively working on that. That being said. I was very disappointed that he couldn’t go outside and play. It was probably one of the last arm days we will see for a while.
The TPR thing. Things are still going forward with the TPR case (See Of Scents…). It’s nerve wrecking to say the least. I have said this before. I know God has not given me a spirit of fear, but I also know that I do not presume to know the will of God. I certainly hope and pray that Honeybee will remain with us—the only family she has known. I just don’t know what God has in store. I know that I love this child with every fiber of my being. Every breath I watch as she sleeps soundly in my arms, every smile she throws my way, every snuggle just reinforces that I would move heaven and heck for this girl. She’s my daughter and I love her. I understand that she wasn’t birthed from my womb, but she was birthed in my heart. I ache to think that one day I might not get to hold her or kiss her or give her the nighttime routine that has become her comfort. I have always worn the banner that there is no weak woman here. I still wear it, but must admit that to be without her would be devastating.
Stepping Out on Faith. Things have been very busy in our household and the action has been centered in my home office. Several years ago, I believed I felt God’s calling on a business venture that I’d dabbled with in college. I have a passion for writing and communication and I love to help people achieve their own passions. One day, after a particularly stirring sermon, I felt like it was time to restart the venture. I put the thought away and went to sleep, but remembered occurrences in the week that had seemed to confirm what I’d been feeling. That night, I was awakened from a slumber and started retyping and revamping a business plan. That same night, I officially launched my business. That was several years ago and like rivers, I’ve had some ebbs and flows and shallow places. Things had gotten quiet because I was pretty uncomfortable with stepping up and out of my comfort zone. Recently, things started happening in such a major way that I could no longer deny that God truly wanted me to continue this venture in earnest. So, that is what I have been doing. I started a social media and content management firm that specializes in small business owners. I’ve been blessed to receive referrals, recurring customers, lock on and negotiate some pretty great media moves, and secure some of my client’s place in the limelight. I love what I do and hope that one day it will become my full time career, if that is God’s will. That notwithstanding, I still greatly enjoy my daily temporary full time and the work I do there. But, when it’s quitting time, I go home, get the family taken care of, and then I’m locked in the home office for hours. For the past week and a half, I’ve not gone to bed before 11p.m. More often than not, it’s midnight. I’ve been waking at 5-7 depending on how many times I need to hit snooze and making it to my TFT to give it my 100% here. Pure transparency, it’s starting to catch up with me. I’ve missed more than a couple of dinners and have subsisted on breakfast smoothies (which are AWESOME) for my energy and grilled cheese nom noms for lunch. Today, I feel a little less peppy and recognize that I need to recharge. It was a great night last night with a new monthly contract signed, two requests for prospective client meetings, one media opportunity secured, and the successful release of press for a client. It was about 1230 when I made it to bed this morning. I think I will have to take a bit of respite for tonight.
Daycare. You all remember a few weeks ago I shared that Honeybee will be joining the ranks of millions of other children who venture into the doors of daycare. Well…next week is the start. I. AM. SO. NERVOUS. I mean it. I mean, I am nail biting, twist my hair, eating junk food, planning my surprise drop ins NERVOUS. My baby is going to be away from me for a bit. Sigh. She’ll only be there a few days a week. It’s more to get her acclimated to other people and children besides NanaWinter and ourselves. Plus, now that she is mobile, it will be easier on Nana. Still, I am NERVOUS. The great thing is I know where she is going. The daycare is the one that so loving cared for my son many years ago. I know the staff. The director is one of the kindest and sweetest ladies I know. That being said…I am still nervous. I wasn’t even this nervous when I allowed my son to be cared for there at 9 weeks of age until he aged into pre-school at 3. Part of that was because I knew the people caring for them. I mean I knew all of them. I worshipped with them, sang with them, cried with them. They were my family and I theirs’. They were the strongest, most wonderful people I have ever known. And I love them to this day. But, they were elders and as elders typically do, they retire or fall ill. That and my son grew up. His last time there was 5 years ago. Now, there are new people. People whom I know, but not intimately. People whom I know will love my daughter, but not like I can love her. People who may confuse her size with weakness. Something she most certainly is not. I want to make sure she is healthy and happy when away from me. I know she will be, but still I am nervous.
More…well, I’m sure there is tons more that I can tell you, but I won’t right now. But be on the lookout J. I’ll be sharing soon!
