|Photo credit: theluckydipper.com
I recently went to Facebook to answer the comment of a friend who’d written on my page. While navigating the maze that is comments and likes, I saw a “people you might know” picture that had “add a friend” beside it. The name belonged to a former high school and college friend whom I’ve been social media connected to for the past three years. She’d deleted me. The thing was I didn’t even know.
I looked at her name, clicked on the public version of her page, and realized that I hadn’t commented on her page in a very long time. She recently lost a family member and, while I wished her condolences, I didn’t give her massive encouragement that I’m sure she needed. I realized that, as much as I genuinely care about her and her family, our paths no longer intercept one another.
I’ve not seen her in years. I couldn’t tell you what she does for a living, where exactly she lives, how her children are doing. I can’t do any of that. Nor can she recite the same information concerning me. So, why were we social media friends? And I realized that she’d done an awesome thing.
I am a firm believer in support systems and keeping yourself surrounded by positive and loving people. I haven’t been surrounding her. I haven’t been giving her what a true friendship requires. In fact, despite my saying the general coverage prayer for all of my friends and loved ones near and far, I’d not really gone to God on her behalf until she lost her loved ones. In essence, I was wasting space in her world. She took the initiative and removed the dead weight. As she should.
I was taught very early in life that not everyone who starts a journey by your side will reach the destination with you. Some are going to get tired and stop journeying with you. Others are going to find little crossroads and forks and go their own way. Others are just going to stop journeying period and you may find yourself by yourself. Or, as Mama taught, you may find other travelers who are traversing the same course that you are and will join you in their stead. It’s okay that those who start may not finish with you. That is life. You pray for each other. You love each other, even from afar, but your journey is your own.
So, I think it is wonderful that I was de-friended. It made me look at my friend list and realize I need to do the same. There is no hate or malice, but I have some space in my life that needs to be opened as well. What better way than pressing “Delete”?