faith Honeybee TPR

I’m scared…and I don’t want to be

Our Honeybee brings sunshine on cloudy days
In a few days, there is to be a TPR appeal hearing for our Honeybee.  I don’t think I have ever been so worried about the possible outcomes in all my life.  Here is this beautiful, amazing, wonderful baby girl filled with love and personality who started calling me “Mama” this week.  We’ve raised her since she was about two weeks old.  She is our child, our heart, our love.  We provide everything she needs through that which God has blessed us.   She has shelter and safety, food and nourishment, comfort, and love.  She is our daughter and nothing and no one can change that.  BUT, she is also not yet legally ours.  This decision could determine the course of Honeybee’s life like no other event she will ever experience.  And, while I know that fear is but false evidence appearing real and that God has not given me a spirit of fear…it exists and I am calling on Jesus to slay that spirit for me.
Last night, I was holding Honeybee as it was time to put her to bed.  She and I locked eyes as I carried her up the stairs and it was just she and I in that time and space.  There were no worries, no threats of interruption.  It was just us.  I laid her down and returned downstairs to a dear friend who came over to visit for a bible study.  All was at peace and well with the world.
In the almost year that Honeybee has been with us, she has experienced so much love, so many experiences.  She’s gone on vacations and has been surrounded by tons of family both here and states away.  I’m looking forward to warm weather for zoo trips and mall walks.  I plan to show her the same things I showed with Superbug.  We used to stay in the wind as the old folks say.  I want her to know this world can be amazing.
But how will that be possible if she is not here.  I am reminded to make my request known to God.  So, I shall.  But my heart will be bound until I get a call that lets me know that our Honeybee shall be in our forever family always.
Your prayers are always appreciated.
Thank you and we love you.

WinterMommy

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