Frustration abounds

So, yesterday I shared a post of how amazed I was the our daughter had been with us for a full year.  I lovingly recounted the emotions that were in my head as FatherWinter and I went to pick her up from the agency.  I remembered the joy of the day and the feeling of overwhelming love and gratitude it bought.

Shortly after that post was released, I received a call from Ms. Care, Honeybee’s social worker with not so good news.  Sigh.  We are actively in a fight for our daughter.  We have always been in a fight for our daughter, but as comedian Kevin Hart likes to say, “it just got real”.

I really, really want to go into details..the pure unadulterated details as I see them, but I am so worried about legal ramifications that I will keep things as close vested as possible.  I will say only this.  I am so very frustrated that in a world where a child has been loved and raised by a family since said child was two weeks old, and where said child calls the family that has loved her Mama and Daddy, and has developed an intense bond of love and commitment with them; it is heartbreakingly difficult to understand the possibility exists that someone can come in and remove this child simply because they now have an interest because of blood line…not necessarily because of love. 

Tonight and every night hereafter until everything is complete, I will lay my daughter to rest as I have every night since her arrival.  I will place her in her crib, rub my hand over her back and hair, stand above her crib and place a kiss on my fingers and apply it to her hair.  I will say a pray for her protection during the night and I will pray a prayer for protection in days to come.  I will utter the same words I utter every night, “I love you, my sweetness” and I will close the door and allow her to close her eyes in peace.

I will pray that God will give FatherWinter, Superbug, and I strength to endure this storm and that He will be merciful in allowing us to continue to love and raise our daughter.  I don’t think my heart can stand any other outcome.

My husband, in his God-given wisdom, reminded me on the first day of recent communications about the ongoing TPR events that we must not be anxious.  I was short in response at first, but acquiesced almost as quickly because I know his words are true.  The word of God tells me that I am not to be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, I am to present my requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.  So, I shall. Pray.

I invite my friends, family, and followers of this blog to do the same.

Praying for forever,

-WinterMommy