It is the close of another Mother’s Day and I find myself filled with a myriad of emotions. Today, I have experienced everything from joy, to sadness, to gratitude, to humility, to compassion. It has truly been a day.
Two years ago yesterday, my family and I buried my great-grandmother. In the previous post (Missing Mama), I told of how much I truly missed my great-grandmother and all that she means to me. I was still pretty down this morning when I woke up, but decided to put on a smiling face for my family since it is Mother’s Day. It turned out the smiles would be replaced with tears…of joy.
This morning, while I was changing my Honeybee, Superbug walks in with a beautiful bouquet of wildflowers. “Happy Mother’s Day, Mommy!”. I was touched by his sweetness and beamed at him in gratitude.” Thank you, sweetness.” I was then interrupted with “Wait, Mommy. We’re not done yet!”
Behind him walks, FatherWinter with a 16 x 20 photo of my great-grandmother and I that he’d taken from my Bible and had drawn off. I was so touched. There were a couple of other gifts as well, but known that touched me as much as this. A picture of the woman I called “Mama” for entire childhood. What a beautiful and amazing gift.
Saturday was equally special for me. I took Honeybee to her first Mommy Daughter tea! Our church was hosting it and politely invited all attendees to wear nice Spring dresses and hats. It was wonderful! Honeybee obviously didn’t know what was going on too much, but she enjoyed the yummy foods and all of the brightly colored dresses and hats. I wish I could show her face to you. She was the most adorable tea guest and the other guests loved her.
I will still a bit emotional thinking about Mama when the hostesses of the event stood before the attendees to honor the mothers of the year. I got so teary eyed as they honored the Adult Ministry Mothers of the Year and then again, as they honored the Young Adult Mothers of the Year. I was very, very surprised that this year one of the recipients was me.
I was floored! I can tell you that I felt so loved and so caught off guard, and very humbled. I honestly thought (and think) there are so many more moms in our church who do so much more than I. I even nominated one of them because she is just AWESOME. But, the Young Adult Ministry chose me and I was just so very honored. They had no idea how much that meant to me.
When I came home, I told FatherWinter about how thankful I was, but how I felt there were others that were so much more deserving than I. FatherWinter mentioned a couple of things that he said made me an excellent mother and certainly worthy of honoring and I felt blessed all over again.
It was truly a wonderful event and I look forward to next year’s. I also look forward to the Father Son event the men are supposed to be hosting for Father’s Day.
Tonight, as I sit here in front of this computer screen, I find myself thinking about Honeybee’s birth mother. I wonder if she is thinking of Honeybee. I wonder if she is grieving her, if she regrets her decision. I hope she knows that Honeybee is loved and is happy. I can’t imagine her grief. Is she wondering what our Mother’s Day was like? Is she wondering if I told Honeybee about her? I have. Honeybee doesn’t get it yet. She doesn’t understand it yet. She will one day.
I tell her that she has a heart mommy and a tummy mommy. I tell her that her tummy mommy loves her very much and that she wants the absolute best for her. She wants her to be able to travel the world and to be able to grown up safe, secure, and happy. I tell her that her tummy mommy loved her so much that she made an adoption plan just for her so that she could have everything that she needs. Then I tell her that we are going to pray for her tummy mommy so that she isn’t sad or lonely. Honeybee doesn’t get it right now, but she will one day. She will.
To Honeybee’s birthmommy, thank you very much for your love and your sacrifice. Thank you for allowing Honeybee to be loved by FatherWinter, Superbug, and I. Thank you for being selfless and for such an amazing gift. There are no words to say how grateful we are and how much we ache for your grief and how much we love you. Truly we do.
Thank you.
-WinterMommy
Disclaimer: This post was not posted until 18 May and was backdated to the day it was written. With all of the emotions of the week, it seemed better to wait and hold some thoughts to ourselves. Please forgive the delay in sharing.
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