blood work infertility symptoms testing

The wait…

So, I took a test two days ago. I swore I saw a shadow, the shadow of a second line. I didn’t want to get excited because it was so faint. So faint I wasn’t sure it was even there. But my son saw it too, not even realizing what he was looking at. So, I took another yesterday. This time, it was a bit more shadow, but I could see it. It was there. I swore it was there. But, again, it was very, very faint. So I made an appointment with my ob/gyn to have blood drawn. The earliest time they could see me was 1000. I was there at 0930 because I was so nervous. Then, they told me I wouldn’t know until Monday at least since they don’t work on the weekends. Oh joy.

So, I drove back to my office, not feeling anything except crampy. I hoped that maybe it was implantation bleeding. With my son, on the day my cycle was due, I had what can only be described as an “explosion” pattern in my underwear and then nothing. I wiped and nothing. So, as I am at work, I go to the bathroom and observe creamy CM tinged with about three specks of brown blood. I wipe thinking I would see the beginning of my cycle like always. No. Nothing. Frustrated, I take another test, one of two remaining. BF N. I thought I saw a shadow, but….it could have been wishful thinking. I honestly don’t know.

All I know right now is I feel bloated, a bit crampy, and so confused…oh…and tired….I want a nap. All PMS symptoms, all possible pregnancy symptoms. And I won’t know which is which until Monday at least. Uggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.

I haven’t even told S. what’s going on. There is no need to tell him, get him excited, and then have him not excited. So, I’ll wait until Monday. Fortunately, there are a number of activities this weekend to keep my mind occupied. Let’s see how this goes.

Praying for positive.

-K

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