Oh my goodness! Oh my goodness!!! Hello everyone! I am on pins and needles, but I have to share today’s news with you.
This morning, I couldn’t sleep. I woke up at 3 A.M. I tried to sleep, but couldn’t. I went down stairs and actually laid on the couch to watch a movie for an hour before finally returning to the bed. I tossed and turned for a while and then I finally lay down for some sleep. The alarm woke me not too much later and I hurried myself ready and was out the door.
I gave blood this morning and felt no symptoms. I even told the nurse that I was hoping and praying for good news, but hadn’t felt anything. When I got home, I was tired. I mean really tired. I mean really, really tired. I was barely able to keep my eyes open and my son asked if I wanted him to sit with his sister so I could rest. That was very sweet of him. I figured it was because I woke up so early. I accepted his offer and took a three hour nap!!!!
Again, I just felt like I overdid it the past couple of days (running around prepping for 20+ people for Christmas Eve dinner). About 1:35, I realized I missed a call from our nurse and tried calling her back. It went to voicemail and I called again. When she picked up, I told her not to say anything before I called S. I called him and conference called him in. There, our beautiful nurse A. was beaming ear to ear as she confirmed we ARE pregnant with a beta of 1,375!!!!!! WE’RE PREGNANT!!!!!
Oh my goodness! I’m so excited, as is S., though he has tried to downplay it a bit. (The smile gives it away every time). Nurse A. explained to S. (I already knew) that I will now have 3-4 more betas, with the hope that each will double. She explained that at 6 weeks, we will have our first ultrasound to see if the heart is beating and to detect how many embryos implanted successfully. (We reminded her that we transferred two).
I’m so happy, but also so nervous. I had NO symptoms except cramping. Now, I have a few..a bit of nausea here and fatigue there. I don’t know if the beta is going to increase. I hope so. I hope very much so.
S. and I have agreed not to share the news with any of our family or friends until after the first trimester is over or until we are sure we are at a point of viability. That sounds so harsh and I hated the discussion, but I understood. We don’t want to bring the family up only to crush them if something should happen.
While they don’t know the details of our journey, or our infertility, they do know that children are a desire of ours.
But I refuse to dwell in the low of it. I am going to smile and enjoy every wave of nausea, every cramp, and every moment of fatigue. These babies are on board and they are going to stay on board!!!
-K
