(This post will contain thoughts on this pregnancy and also the journey to get to this point. Because I know all too well how these kinds of posts may affect my fellow #ttcsisters and #ttcbrothers, I include this disclaimer to forewarn you. Furthermore, I will continue to do so on any post that may be related to this pregnancy (assuming viability) so that you may have the option to bow out of reading. It is not my intent to turn this blog into all things BFP, so I will make sure to try and keep things as open as possible while being sensitive to the stages that all our us are in per our respective journeys).
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Hello everyone. I apologize for disappearing on you. It wasn’t intentional. I got super busy with Christmas planning and haven’t had the luxury of blogging as I wanted. By now you know that on 23 Dec 2016, S. and I received news that we are pregnant. The phone call was amazing and just basking in that knowledge was such a wonderful and God-filled experience.
It wasn’t too much longer that I began to feel bits of confirmation the test was spot on with a huge wave of fatigue and some hints of nausea every once in a while. But, as shared in our post, S. and I are being cautious. We’ve decided not to share the news with our family and friends until we reach the second trimester or unless it becomes obvious, whichever comes first. We don’t want family to be super excited for us and then have to crush that excitement later. This is especially true for S.’s mom who, though much better, is still fighting cancer. So, we’ve enjoyed being pregnant together.
Yesterday was Beta #2. I woke up this morning and was worried that the immediate nausea that has greeted me the past two mornings wasn’t present. I also didn’t feel the heaviness in my breasts I felt last night. I was determined that I wasn’t going to stress too much. I went to the appointment anyway and have felt reminders that something is still going on all day. I was on pins and needles waiting for another beta and, after reading blogs of other fellow #ttc journeymen, I’m not sure I’ll ever stop worrying. Well, maybe after two or three scans. The call usually comes at 2PM. Yesterday, it didn’t come until 4PM! I was just about to leave for the day when the phone rang. It was nurse G. and she was spilling the news before I could stop her LOL! I called S. and conferenced him in, only to be disconnected myself. No bother, I still heard the results.
Our Beta #2 is 4258! Oh my goodness!!! So, we have another Beta on Thursday and hopefully will be moving toward ultrasound! I am so very excited and so very nervous.
We’ve been trying for 4 years and 8 months. We may actually be pregnant! There have been so many times I’ve squinted over lines that weren’t there or cried over lines that were and decided to disappear. I am so very, very excited. I’m so very hopeful. I want to tell everyone, but I then again I don’t. I have already started looking at Pinterest pins and pregnancy apps. But I’m also cautious. Sometimes, I’ll quickly delete a pin or app and say “we don’t know what is going to happen”. That isn’t fair.
I want to move forward as if our blessing has already arrived because it has. I have asked God to be pregnant and health. He’s granted that. That’s a blessing. He may choose to continue blessing S. and I in the future with the birth of a new healthy baby(ies). If so, that will be another blessing. I’m thankful just to be considered by Him.
Beta #3 is tomorrow and we’ll see what happens. I am praying for great numbers and a wonderful day.
I will talk with you all soon.
-K